Who is responsible for our feelings?

Who is responsible for our feelings? A key issue in understanding their own feelings is taking responsibility for them. Understanding exactly what I feel their emotions and are not to blame either the people around me, nor the circumstances.

When I ask people a question: "Who is responsible for your life?", Every adult man indignantly replied: "Of course, I do it myself!". Apparently, having in mind that he wakes up in the morning, he prepares his breakfast, he decides what to wear, etc. to the most global issues: he knows how to earn a living, he creates a family and much more ...

But when you start to ask: "Who is responsible for your hurt, anger, irritation?", Then the answer is the opposite! Almost no one says: "I was offended, I'm angry." Usually sounds: "I am offended!". And the man sincerely believes it!

Simply amazing distinction ... And even if the intellectual level of people agree that all emotions are its own derivatives, the heat of an argument he immediately forgot about it! And begins piously believe that it is the interlocutor is the cause of anger.

So, initially need to take this responsibility at the level of consciousness. In other words, mentally accept the fact that in any, absolutely any situation and your emotional reactions depend only on you and more from anyone. If this is not done, then move on simply meaningless. And no technology, no exercises and training will not do any good!

An important nuance - knowledge of its responsibilities it does not. You may think that you are responsible for their feelings, but at the same time, when emotions overflowed - immediately forgotten. The fact is that the word responsibility implies some sort of answer, ie Action on your part. It can be expressed in reflection after the burst of emotion when you start to analyze what is happening to the fullest to live strong emotions and thereby release them at will.

If you are ready to drag this excessive burden of responsibility, then the next challenge will be to remember this every day and hour. Specify at once that this is the most difficult in any useful initiative.

To facilitate the task, we use a simple exercise. Take a notebook, pen, and every evening before bedtime to 15 minutes for reflection and memories about the past day. It is necessary to enumerate all the situations of the day and try to understand what emotions you feel about them.

Then do a short synopsis. We must try to describe the situation and their emotions. At least schematically: in one column, the situation is opposite - the emotions. Especially those which have remained inaccessible to understanding. Do this, as it will, in any form. Because this work will analyze what the typical emotions you feel for a long time and which situations and events of their cause.

Through this exercise, will be clearly visible stereotyped scheme of your emotional behavior. And only then can we talk about how best to change them and in what direction. First to see them.

In addition, every evening, these situations should be considered for its own responsibility for them. Here we must embark on a research position in relation to myself and think: "What are my reactions provoked this situation?"

The important point! Taking responsibility in any case does not feel guilt for what happened. Just imagine that everything that surrounds you, is the product of your own thoughts, feelings, conscious and subconscious desires.