How to win in-law? Part 1. Appearance of the enemy

  How to win in-law? Part 1. Appearance of the enemy The need for this event do not need to talk. Far beyond the examples do not have to go - in this notoriously unequal struggle lost my mom, but at the same time, and the marriage of my parents. Marriage girlfriend bursting at the seams, for having quarreled and terminating relationships with her mother in law, she actually stayed a grass widow: her husband first started to run to my mother to lunch, then dinner. My mother always waits for his clean clothes and linen change. As a result, my girlfriend is now waging a war "How to return her husband's family."

 With regard to the necessity of war in general, it is often opens the hostilities in-law, leaving you no choice. Therefore, we must decide: the life of the defensive, ongoing 1,111,112. hostilities [/url] , Capitulation, a bad peace is occasionally disturbed a good quarrel, or a full, brilliant victory over in-law. What I will propose to make.

 By the way, if you noticed that among the placers compilations of jokes on the shelves of bookstores trays no compendium of anecdotes about 1,111,114. mother-in [/url] ? What's the book - I never have happened, and one joke about the mother-in to hear. What, in my opinion, proves two things:

1. All the jokes come up with men. And who will write stories about his own mother? Plenty of jokes about mother-- only a confirmation of this idea. Meanwhile, mother-in-law is practically unable to either destroy a marriage, or as something tangible to poison the life-in-law. While even a little bit smart platform and beginning in-law, armed only with the phrase "I have the perfect son," can bring at least panic in the enemy trenches, the maximum - to destroy the marriage of his son and spoil life daughter.

2. If I ever get around and still will publish its own collection of jokes about mother in law - I ozolochus.

 To begin, consider the types of in-law. Ideal type of man - an orphan or in-law, who lives on another continent, and each month sent material aid to a young family in the U.S., I do not think. The first and perhaps the main criterion (almost added "in selecting in-law") in determining the type-in-law - is, oddly enough, its size. That is just height and weight. Everything else in the determination of the exterior in-law - education, background, financial status and position in society - great value for determining the type-in-law do not have.

A properly defined character - is key to success! You're not going to shoot sparrows with a cannon, just as there is no sense to fire a shotgun on the elephant. Example about the weapons I quote, of course, figuratively, at 1,111,116. anti-in-law [/url] your weapon - intelligence and a sense of humor. Plus need the talent of an actress, at least in its infancy.

 So: classification by size-in-law. Imagine a chart, like those on the reverse side of the package of tights. Must be produced in industrial production of such a small plate to determine the amount-in-law, and all the girls from the age of 18 must wear it with. How many marriages would have kept such a thing, and most importantly - stop it!

Type № 1: small on both parameters
Ideal under the proverbial "little dog was a puppy until old age. For it is relevant and the other saying: "Young women are created for love, young men - for a laugh. In no way do not want to offend moderate men, we do not now about them. Small-in-law malice, talkative, persuasive and innocent. Their diminutive size - a pledge that in their lives, they just have no strength, and intelligence and cunning.

The military action on its part will look like a compulsive repetition of any nonsense in the hope of provoking you to outright aggression. Either the increased concern about his son, which again provoke a rebellion on your part. This effect is akin to the sound of a dentist drill to the next room - and you do not your teeth drilled, but something uneasily.

Understand once: if you're taller than 1,111,118. mother-in [/url] , Even an inch - you will struggle. If, God forbid, lower - you try to take wing (like "Oh, Thumbelina!) And begin to teach life. Nobody knows what worse.

Type number 2: low growth, but overweight
The military action on its part can be expressed in the criticism you express personal to you in the eye or transmitted through your husband. Later in the course will critique your methods of feeding and educating children, so the process can not run. This type of in-law perfectly able to pretend to be simple, as three of the ruble.

Type number 3: High growth without excess weight
These are generally not of this world, the battle will not be. They are on the way from nirvana to work and not notice that his son married.

Military action on her part: can be expressed in the fact that such a mother requires more care and attention from her son, a kind of girl overage. She is so helpless and unable to take care of themselves, that you feel vandal, goes to waste puppy. Warning, do not succumb! It's time to break this common Oedipus complex and firmly put things in order. You should not confuse the deer's eyes and the circumstances (my mother is spending money on cosmetics, so a year does not pay for an apartment).

Type № 4. Heavy metal
As the widow Madame, I quote: "Everything was there - melon breasts, nose, butt. All right - height, weight. The most common type and position of teacher of high school, that is, the psyche, was trained to entering into a cage of lions. Perfectly prepared and initially even graciously would look at education, as Malvina engaged Pinocchio. It will end about the same: yes, you'll be locked in a dark closet with spiders. In the literal and figurative sense.

Therefore we must immediately stock up Korvalol and honey. Korvalol - to stabilize the nervous system, honey - for the sweetness in her voice. They have only this and [url=] 11111111 changing it. . Just warning you - those devils-in-law, and not the women, there would have to sweat. The most difficult option. And the saddest thing - sweating something happens not because of what, judge for yourself, who can bring such a bulky overbearing mother? Mama's little boy with a broken psyche.

Military action on her part: active on all fronts. This woman is the massive bombardment of your hearth, and herself did not really understand why. Apparently, the habit of fighting in her blood. The situation is complicated by the fact that your husband - her son - has long been surrendered, and you keep the defense. She lives in your studio apartment for months, manages her husband's salary, criticize your children. Hold on, all is not lost, the more impressive will be a victory over her.

Type number 5: height and weight correspond to the mean parameters of women from fifty years
There could face surprise, therefore, in the course are new parameters: the presence of her husband and other children. Why is it important at this stage, explain: my husband and children are as distractions, which leave the nerves and strength-in-law, so you are safe, if any. If you're lucky - her husband would be an alcoholic, a daughter - not married, a full house of dogs, cats and grandchildren. It simply will not have time to arrange your dark, so you can relax and sympathize with her. Or even help.

Military action on her part: unpredictable. It generally can take you to the family as a unique and long-awaited daughter. A may refuse to communicate with you, and even the birth of his grandson did not force her to take you.