What in-law and mother-in-law in one person? Opinion.

  What in-law and mother-in-law in one person? Opinion. Truly, I say, God loves a trinity. He blessed me by his kindness and humanity of their three children. A girl and a year later twins: a boy and a girl. The contribution of the LORD to me to be manifestations of the notorious and Tiffany and her stepmother-in-law. That's the map and lay down.

Quivered over them like a hen, mother hen, all living in fear of parent was: who has an ear, whose paunch, who brought a deuce, received, were not forthcoming, make friends with someone with whom there are, who his companions of life will take. And on their feet, give a good education, life-hardened and a good education ... What mother is not familiar? Little kids - little Bedaki ...

At that time, such large, almost as Roma looked. And I remember one phrase, thrown after me in the Gulf of Finland. It was in May. They dragged the children by train to the beach in Roshchino. The weather is beautiful, almost hot. And next to water. Ice yet. But the water! How could the children of the water away? The more accustomed to the icy water had - with my father every morning drenched in cold water. Of course, climbed into the water, splashing. I do not watch - freeze - ran out of themselves. The cold - not my aunt.

Around too much pupping mothers. But no child is bathed. All we heard on the beach: "Boris, Sasha, Fyodor, move immediately from the water!". And those poor guy complain that we do, that the children bathed, and nothing. And suddenly I hear a broody says another: "And she do not care, but her three! One dies of pneumonia, two more remain! ". And they are there for a long time I have washed the bones. And all in the same spirit.

To what I said? And to this: there is among ordinary person such a stereotype. Since many children, one mother's love is divided into a set. And as the mathematical quotient is always smaller than the dividend, and ... Should I continue? To convince such people that in such cases is a mother's love, multiplied by many, useless. It is the people from the public which children with benign smile sets the question for: "And whom are you more like: dad or mom, brother or sister, grandmother or grandfather?". Or the father-mother asked which of the three they prefer. (Oh, how I listened to these issues!)

I'm not a psychologist, a little something in the fine analysis is understood, it is simply my personal observations from the experience of life. As the saying goes, every toe and sorry and how I live, the umbilical cord is not cut off. And never will. My! Little heart! But let them now more like their families than us with his father. This is their love for us, parents.

And now comes the time when the children grew up and came to them it's time to choose a couple and start their krovinochek. And then the mothers and fathers to cut this umbilical cord. Give it up, let go, accept it. And the moment of truth. Which many do not want and can not accept.

Ask any mother what she wants for her child in life. Happiness, health and a good friend of life. Girl's mother would say - a good husband. Mom boy - a good wife. And what good what good?

If we, the mother, at the first feeding will not accept the fact that this one little ball you are going to grow so that you give to someone, the moment of truth will be a tragedy. Take it for granted - your krovinochka already someone. Already born or born to someone for whom you will raise your child that you - just a temporary container for bearing, then a machine for feeding and nurturing. The goal of all your mother's work - to raise people to the happiness of another person and the happiness of your child with this stranger. If the mother did not take, it will all be bad.

And from all our troubles. Do not know how to give easily and with pleasure. Why do bad sister? Yes, not because it is bad (that's mom would be the best wife for the only son! "), But because jealousy is the parent of this stranger, with whom he will leave the parental home, selfish mother more happiness for the happiness of a man's son.

A mother-in-law than good? Yes, because all the same. A matchmaker? Return the same copy. It is noticed that if a new retiree will be able to survive the first break-up of the lack of jobs in his life, from the understatement of its self-assessment of reduction of its role-based values in society and family, he then quietly to enjoy beauty, serenity and the wise old age pension. And another well known: many new retirees, especially men, are very quick to leave this world after retirement. The same happens with the parents of sons and daughters: decrease the importance of role-playing, social values, fear of loneliness, and in some cases and elementary jealousy and selfishness.

And start a small civil war. If the daughter-in-rival priori adopted with hostility, be sure that this feeling in you will progress. If the mother-in-law gave her little heart of a beloved person, you soon become her son-in enemy number one. And our children will suffer, torn between their parents and loved unconditionally as unreservedly loved one another throughout their future lives.

Someone else's misfortune hands reconnoiter? No, of course. But the straw clamp can help: start preparing themselves to care of children. Practice, learn to give. Ask yourself why you had the good fortune to have a family and children, and for your child you break this chance. Particularly affected are single mothers who have raised one child. Honor them and praise, who raised themselves on their feet a good man. But the woman has not set up (sometimes because of the child or for the sake of the child) a new family, and she fears being alone. For a mother to give even more difficult, and it is possible to understand the mind and soul.

Pretty proud woman, povygonyavshie nafig their losers, womanizer, alcoholics and grow on its own beautiful children (not good keepers, their weight in gold value!), I appeal to you. What words describe your pain, I do not know, but tell yourself in the moment of truth, as they used to say our grandparents and parents: "I am happy in my life saw little, so at least let my child be happy in family life". Sprouted seeds of joy of giving, they will bear fruit in the hour of trial to break the umbilical cord.

I object that they are not going smoothly, that every second marriage breaks up. Yes, this is so. But some of these broken marriages - not parent if this bitter mistakes? And not because they broke that the mother-in-law or mother in law "twisting" of his child, stubbornly crept into their family life, which immediately met elect their child in arms? What is not found in his mother's wisdom not to break the heart of a child between his family, in opposition to the young?

And I passed through it. In each of hypostasis. And as mother-in-law, and as a mother in law. It was my job. Which I had to do as a mother. Which for me, no one will do. And once this work, then it must be done well. We dream about the one chosen for their children, and they lead us to something quite different. But you love your child, so respect his choice, if only because of his disapproval you yourselves slides behind the cupboard. Maybe your child makes a mistake in choice, but it is his sacred right - wrong. The horse stumbles on four ...

What helped me survive the loss of role importance in the family - her husband's support and forgetfulness in work. After the departure of the last child of the village and burst into tears: behold, my father, we were left with you two live out the century. If he told me all sorts of clever words, I would sincerely rejected them, would close the curtain on him (I've got this one). And he sat down and wept with me. He shared my bowl and saw me. And we cried with each other's shoulders for a long time. And it's relief and peace.

I forbade myself for life to look at young families with their own eyes. My in law, both hands, as they say, left: "no stealing, no watch." (His sister, too, urged on me: "Mum, you know, it erases her panties?". "Well, - I say. Locate and yourself such that your washing.") Son gladly took over the household and pulls him how much they are together. But the talent in law opened up in her motherhood - such wise moms I have not met - Pestalozzi, Disterveg, Ushinsky, Makarenko and Chomsky rest. That's where she flashed all his virtues as a wife and mother. I do not need it, then, for fate was to associate with the pots. Its mission - a good man blind.

My late in-law did not immediately become my own son, but never one look or act, I did not condemn the choice of my daughter. And this man was able to "turn her life in the flowers", as they say. And when they parted, for various reasons, it was like for me, my family, and stayed in my life, and now in my memory.

(Maybe someone now and I thought: but what it something she had a three! "What can she know? - As the Gulf of Finland. Your will.) And now we live with her husband and molodeem together with our children . They know that all of them - ours, as they were, so it is. Just now we have become more, and we - one family. And the new pupovinki grown.

To love - means to forgive. Good for your children. If not you, who still forgive? Nowhere love our children from us not vanish. She is here with us. Just know how to address it in your child's love for his family and to his children. Your child is now doing the job for which you have given birth - lives for the sake of his family and for the sake of their children. And this job he should do well. So, as you have taught.