Why do you need to take your child?



Adoption - this attitude, and behaviors. Accept the other person as he is, - then take it in all its uniqueness and originality, without trying to remake it in anything that we do not like. It often happens that a certain person has caused us sympathy, despite its shortcomings. As a rule, with the likes of us develops rapport. But adoption - is probably not even sympathy, and letting the other person be what he created.

This recognition of its right to be unique, to have their convictions (other than ours) and, of course, permission to make mistakes and go his own way in life. Everyone wants to take it for what it is, whether it is a child or an adult. However, for a child is much more important, since it is formed worldview and attitude towards yourself and others.

Adoption is one of the most important facets of communication. Quite often we do not like something in the other, and we are ready to remodel and change to conform to our expectations. The greatest "temptation" arises in relation to our family and friends, and especially - in relation to our children. One of the main goals is to educate the parents of the child, ie the replacement of what it is, that we consider necessary. And always there is that we believe it is necessary, is that really necessary for a child growing up, determining their place in society and in order to be happy? Do we always satisfy one of the most important needs of the child - the need to take? Before us, dear parents, always raises the question of how to raise a child (that is necessary to inculcate the idea of quality and standards of behavior, change it), while recognizing its essential needs. And sometimes it is very difficult. On the one hand, the love and acceptance of the child as he is and no matter what he did, but on the other hand, there is the continued problem of education - to form a personality not somehow, and that it was a full-fledged member of society, correctly and adequately adapted to the environment environment and realize its potential. The importance of superior importance of creating the necessary qualities and behaviors. Adoption - is a basic human need, and it defines even more, not what man can achieve, having certain qualities, and the ability to change and develop in different qualities. After all, if I took as a child by any means I have much more chance to realize themselves in this life, I'm not so rigidly tied to certain forms of behavior. Here is an example. If I bring up only as a hard man, then maybe I will do better in the business, because in this area often requires uncompromising. And if I take any (in all my forms), I can be tough and pliable, depending on what is appropriate in a given situation. That is, I will have one more degree of freedom. And this is very important because further increases my chances to reach uspeha.V this case the parents act as a gardener who lovingly cares for his garden and flowers, directs their growth in the right direction, given the nature, sometimes even cut them than allow them disclose its unique beauty and uniqueness. And here is one very significant thing. This allows the gardener to grow shrub roses shrub roses, rather than trying to do it in the bush of black currant. Gardener gets great results if you respect the right of bush roses on the uniqueness and the right to follow its natural path of development. With such an approach is the uniqueness that carries a child initially, complementing the efforts of parents, opens and brings wonderful plody.

Odnako, unfortunately, is not always so. What happens if you change the baby, ignoring his need for acceptance? That is, if the necessary qualities of character education is ahead of the adoption? In this case, we inevitably find ourselves in a situation where the child begins to change what we do not like personally. For example, you do not like modesty or shyness. You are fighting people and are used only to achieve in life. In themselves and those around you like qualities such as confidence, perseverance, courage in making decisions, and you do not like the opposite qualities (uncertainty, shyness, etc.). When you have a child, you will naturally begin within education "prune" in it these traits such as shyness and timidity. And now notice a difference. You can bring up the child and instill confidence and assertiveness, and you can "wean" him from shyness, relatively speaking, negatively reinforce when he shows it kachestvo.

Pervoe - is education, in that meets the needs of the child in the decision, and the second - the action from the point of discontent. What if this happens? If you do not accept any quality in yourself, you will not receive it in your child. But not taking this trait in a child and struggling with it, you commit the child to her. And once you've committed to this as a child, that sometimes it is his, and he begins to show. What happens? Child in some manifestations begins to show exactly what you do not like and do not accept. So at the strong and strong-willed parents often grow helpless children. Or there are cases when parents have a very decent children grow up, frankly spitting on moral norms. Can not do without introspection. After realizing that we do not like and do not accept in ourselves and in others, it is difficult to track when a child's upbringing, we act from the point of decision, and when the point of discontent. We need to catch myself on the fact that we are about to restructure the child from the point of discontent, analyze their style of parenting. If you keep track of how our education arises from a point of discontent, there is a chance to go out on a greater acceptance that will ensure the development and strengthening of the warm and sincere relations in the family.

 
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